I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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