hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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