why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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