I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
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I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
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It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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