All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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