I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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