i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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