If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
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Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
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I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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