Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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