Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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