She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize