One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Randomize