..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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