so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize