so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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