i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
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we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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