my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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