Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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