i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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