i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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