Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize