It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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