Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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