nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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