the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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