If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize