it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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