I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
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We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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