you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
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Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
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You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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