just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
tell me about the fingering
Randomize