question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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