My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize