I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We left the knife in your bed.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize