shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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