He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
me + whiskey = a bad person
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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