I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize