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  Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.

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• Actually that was his brother James... common misconception. Jesus said, "It's better to receive a bj from Mary Magdalen, then to hang out in the sausage-fest presence of the 12 douche-bags that keep pestering me to do magic." And then he took his name in vain.

  Submitted by enormoustard on May 9, 11 at 2:28pm

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  • Epic

    Submitted by CaptHowdy825 on May 10, 11 at 11:23am

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• Jesus Lopez, right? I hang out with that guy all the time. He's wise beyond his years...

  Submitted by TubeSounding on May 9, 11 at 2:20pm

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• Jesus would never say that, don't forget he was a dude too

  Submitted by firsttimer on May 9, 11 at 2:29pm

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• He also said he'd cum again...or was it come again?

  Submitted by mr_sphincter on May 9, 11 at 9:03pm

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• Part of the lost scriptures. "and Jesus said unto them, 'go forth and knowest thy brothers before thy whores.'"

  Submitted by DubbedMyx on May 9, 11 at 9:33pm

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• That just made my day well play

  Submitted by zosergirl on May 10, 11 at 1:29pm

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• what if you're best friend's a douche bag?

  Submitted by mccheesy on May 9, 11 at 2:19pm

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  • your*

    Submitted by mccheesy on May 9, 11 at 2:21pm

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    • I had no idea people had such terrible grammar until I started lurking here

      Submitted by EMTPirate on May 9, 11 at 3:32pm

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      • And yet, you have failed to use any punctuation. This proves your point, I suppose.

        Submitted by NPH9384 on May 9, 11 at 9:45pm

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      • Amen, emt!

        Submitted by BarryDingle on May 10, 11 at 5:44pm

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• ah us 706'ers and our bible belt

  Submitted by sunkintovelvet on May 9, 11 at 10:09pm

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• Call me crazy, but I don't think Jesus would've said that!

  Submitted by BigJ2002 on May 11, 11 at 9:25am

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• Although he also said it’s better to give than to receive and we all know that’s a lie

  Submitted by Phys on May 9, 11 at 4:14pm

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• Amen.

  Submitted by luvengolf on May 9, 11 at 8:16pm

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• Jesus no existe.

  Submitted by Downtownsbrown on May 12, 11 at 10:58pm

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• I don't remember this.

  Submitted by jaylayson on Nov 30, 12 at 5:35pm

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• Oh, cool. Jesus died for our sins, but I'm glad his name can be used in vain to discuss blowjobs and douche bags.

  Submitted by patton18 on May 10, 11 at 7:55pm

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• a-owsome! ya dag tell it to ur sister!

  Submitted by distinkt on May 11, 11 at 2:48am

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• What?? No he didn't. Jesus was perfect - he would never lie

  Submitted by Joey_V on May 9, 11 at 7:32pm

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• Bahahahahaaaaaaa

  Submitted by bestwellsooner on May 9, 11 at 10:55pm

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• Is that in Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John?! :)

  Submitted by CyrusVyrus on May 9, 11 at 2:17pm

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