Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
