I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
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