i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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