remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
