I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
