whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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