Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize