I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
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The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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