Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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