John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
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She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
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When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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