found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
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I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
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He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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