A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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