recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize