I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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