oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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