True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize